Today was a total bomb day. I started it off on the wrong foot at 5:15AM (I teach a 6:00AM yoga class on Tuesday and Thursday mornings). I love it because early in the morning my head is so clear, I think it is the best time to teach. This morning however I discovered that my husband had left out the vaccines for Maxime, our dog. She has just started allergy shots and we are working really hard to be able to provide these for her. These vials he left on the counter overnight, rendering them useless, were worth about $500. This is a lot of money for us and I freaked out upon noticing them left out on the cooking island. The vaccines need to be refrigerated at all times. I stormed into the bedroom, threw on the lights and started yelling at him, "how could you!?!" I still made my morning smoothie but I drank it in the car on the way to yoga, not after yoga. Teaching my 6er was rough, but between my 6am and 8am Devin and I patched things up mostly. I was still an emotional wreck even though I had decided not to divorce him after leaving Maxime's allergy shots unrefrigerated. After my second class I went to the Ideal Diner and ate a delicious but super fatty breakfast. I know I was just trying to soothe my tension with hashbrowns. I have been really good about taking Holly's Cardio Kickboxing classes Thursday mornings, but not today, today was an emotional eating day.
I don't have any pictures to post, although I took one at the Ideal Diner, I'm not going to post it. I took a nap and then woke up craving a salad which I made and was okay. I was trying to recreate one that I ate Christmas Eve. My version still has a lot of kinks. Even though I was trying to make healthy strides, I gave into the Godiva chocolates that my Mother-In-Law gave us. I ate 3, which is a lot for me because I usually don't eat a lot of chocolate. Then I made some homemade hot chocolate with homemade whipped cream for dinner. I accompanied this with my go to emotional eating accomplices, chips and salsa. I also brought the cheese block over and just whittled away at some cheese.
All in all it probably wasn't as bad as I am making it sound, or beating myself up for, but I am so tired of giving into my downward spiraling emotions. Tonight I have a bellyache, go figure, and I feel disappointed in myself. I have a husband who loves my, a beautiful dog who loves me and I feel a little better about the fact that even though I "failed" today, I am still posting about it. I was most likely to just not tell you about today's debacles but I made a promise to blog, and so I am going to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly. Today was ugly folks. I suppose that is why I am calling this an adventure. I wish it was easier and that the heaviness I feel would just melt away by me thinking about it, but it turns out there are some more deeply rooted emotional issues, heartfelt issues that I must face up to and mediate on.
I know today wasn't by any means a success, but I hope in some way my realness will inspire and let you know you don't have to be perfect all the time. I suppose we will all mess up here and there. I just wish I didn't mess up quite so much. Namaste.
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